Recently, a friend of mine had to tell someone a harsh truth. I am kind of her backup on this work, so it is giving me much food for thought. The talk was uncomfortable, and all the repercussions of her work are not through, but it got me thinking about how one conveys this sort of delicate information, and whether or not it’s done delicately at all.
There’s a culture among Lokeans for being a little harsh. Blame it on the Lokasenna, on the type of people we are (and I said “we” for I am not excluded), whatever. But if we look at the lore, Loki very rarely breaks out His Worldbreaker persona, and as Elizabeth Vongvisith pointed out, He didn’t get away with it, if getting away with it means that there were no repercussions.
What we say, and how we say it are both crucial. Speaking of Elizabeth, she once had to convey some information to me that was very potentially upsetting. She chose her words carefully as she said what needed to be said, and it was done in a way that was both honest and respectful. It was also delivered in private, which I think is also important in terms of respecting not even just the recipient, but the community in general, lest concerns devolve into gossip. Instead of being angry with Elizabeth and her words, I developed even more respect and admiration for her. I often think of her example on the occasion that I have to deliver what might be unwelcome news.
And really, in many ways this is much more Lokean – Loki is a bridge between worlds far more often than He is a breaker of them in the Lore. You can’t link disparate cultures or worldviews by asserting that one is better than another. That is not community building or consensus – it is conquest.
And that brings me around to the policing of belief, which is a hot button issue in general, and a sore spot for me. I was a general Pagan for many years before Loki decided to up the ante on my spiritual life, but I was a very laid back one. Ceremonial Magician? AWESOME. Hard Celtic Recon? FABULOUS. Fluffly Wiccan? GROOVY.
I. don’t. care. I enjoy hearing about other Trads and other belief systems, and I believe there is merit in all of them, whether I choose to internalize any of their beliefs or practices. And that is probably why He placed me at my local UU/CUUPs group, which is equally relaxed and eclectic. We cherish our diversity, and that is a very Lokean value.
But…when Loki asks me to police belief, particularly blasphemy, I cannot tell Him no, and whatever I think intellectually as a human goes out the window, so I am left wondering how to do it in such a way that respects the individual and yet conveys what He wants said. I don’t really have an answer yet, but since He likes me thinking out loud here on the blog on occasion, I thought I’d throw the pondering out to you all, gentle readers. Disrespect and blasphemy make it hard to see straight, let alone to be civil, you know?
Police belief???
I find this quite frightening. Weren’t you an atheist just a year and a half ago? I sincerely hope you are 100% certain you are hearing Loki correctly 100% of the time if this is what you feel you need to do.
I was prodded to speak up by Him on a particular matter, and I did so. However, if you read the rest of the entry, my greater point is that as a UU, policing belief is not really something that I have much interest or experience with doing, and that I wanted some input on how to complete this task in a kind, respectful manner that might yield an end to an undesired behavior.
Maybe “guide” would’ve been a better word than “police belief”.
It’s not about telling people whether what they believe is right or wrong, but that what they are doing or saying is disrespectful or blaspheming to the gods.
That seems like a proper thing for a priestess and a devotee of gods to do.
It might well be a better term – certainly I’d be more comfortable with it. Belief policing is not really a UU behavior. I do wonder if He strongly worded it or if I did due to my own initial lack of comfort with the task at hand.
Guide sounds ‘nicer’ for sure. But as for the situation, I’ll agree with you, anyone and everyone has the rights to their beliefs. I love learning from others, and love when I meet someone that can explain some of the belief to me that gives me a new view, a new respect. I’ll admit that people around my area of living, and the media and internet have given me narrow views on certain things. Finally I meet someone who can explain it, and I’m like
“Oh wow. I’m sorry if I say anything rude, I don’t mean it to you, but others are using your name and giving people like me a narrow mind on it.” Which is saying something, if people are doing something that is giving me a narrow mind, I fear what they are doing to those already with a narrow mind!
But there are things that some people say, that isn’t good for any community. That isn’t safe for themselves. There are people who say “Oh! This is how you have to do something, and then I just do this, and done!”
And you stare at them and want to back up and run. Not because you don’t believe in their belief. Not because you think they are wrong. But something deeper. Sometimes it is an unsafe way of doing something. (not looking after the candles in the backyard)
Maybe it’s something a bit more dangerous on a spiritual level.
I have run into someone that has said that the idea that you have to ‘pay’ for anything or that there is such things like ‘back lash’ is completely up to you. It’s your own fear that causes it, and if you don’t believe in it, it won’t happen.”
…Ya, that scared me. And anyone who tried to steer him into a tiny bit of ‘just be careful’ he blew off. (this was on a forum) Finally I told him (essentially) ‘hey, ok, do things your way, but don’t tell others that your way is going to work for them, because you might be setting them up to get hurt.”
No, it isn’t any of our places to tell someone what to believe. But you’re not going around telling anyone. Like you said, you’re cool with it all.
But, if you have experience, or heck, someone to ask, it is now your responsibility that others aren’t making things worse. No you don’t need to yell at them, tell them they are wrong, but sometimes you need to point out to people that maybe there is something they can work on, ask about, or you can suggest to them.
When people are doing something that might be unethical, you need to point it out to them. They might simply not know better. And by not giving your two sense, you’re helping no one. The only thing that all of a sudden benefits is your own ego that wants to protect you from the potential ‘problem’ that the conversation might make. (I know I’m very guilty of this)
So…That’s my two sense.